The Heretik

NEW AMERICAN GOTHIC

MY WIFE IS DONE beating up on traitor Democrats like Biden and Kennedy.  She will leave those losers right where they belong with the other frothing rabid dogs. My wife wants to give a beating where the beating belongs. She wants to beat the bushes now, in particular Bush George.  She says if he were our son, she would tell him he is one bad son of a bitch.  I am no sure how to tell her what that makes her.

SHUT UP she says. Shut up, you bitches.  I am pretty sure she spiked the eggnog after she found out the New York Times spiked this spy on citizen story for a whole year.  When she heard about all the right and righteous ones on the right who want to put the Times on a spike for treason, I think she downed a whole bottle of Jim Beam while I was working what is left of my upper body at the home gym. The Times has  a past it should have lived up to sooner, rather than later, my wife said.
 
SHUT UP you bitches, she said with some relish.  We know treason and have seen it before.   I know it was alcohol I was smelling on her breath as she finished up the last of her toast and the editorial in the Washington Post. I enjoyed that brief moment of silence before the damn broke loose. The torrent started to rip Bush’s way.
 
SHUT UP she says. Shut up, you bitches. I am pretty sure the minister might notice something other than angel’s breath this morning when my angel takes the sacrament.  It’s beats the devil out of me how I am going to make her stop her stammering about beating the hell out of that son of a bitch Bush. Don’t you see it’s all related, she yells as she puts on her yellow coat.  I am going to drive us now to the meeting house if she doesn’t drive me crazy first.  I hope she doesn’t start up about the lawyers.  She would say by by to Bybee in a minute. 

SHUT UP she says.  Shut up, you bitches. You is a bitch, I heard her  say. Rarely am I the one to suffer her attack.  And her grammar seemed lost, if only for a moment. My wife collected what I thought was the lost parts of her mind.  Then she said. Not you.  Yoo,  John Yoo is a bitch.  I hoped she would be done by the time we got to church, because I was sure all the congregants would hear her and possibly god in high heaven.  Yoo is in trouble and I'm glad it's not me.

SHUT UP she says.  Shut up, you bitches.  Things got more graphic as she stuck her head out the car window.  She suggested a solution to the problem which might work for her, but not for me.  My wife said we should take all these lawyers who tell Bush breaking the law is all right and we should shove them all up Bush's ass.  My wife said that would shut up those bitches for good and might give Bush pause from running his mouth as well.  My darling who smiles rarely went quiet, then gave me the oddest grin.

THEN SHE TURNED ON ME and asked me where is Osama?  I didn't want to be the one to tell her the reason he hasn't been found.

MEMO FROM DEVINE, WRIGHT, AND WRONG

TO: YOUR DUDELINESS IN CHIEF war president, and ruler of the free world
FROM: Yer lawyer, and frat bro, T. Naughton Devine.
RE: Your powers.

Your powers are limitless, maybe even more than that.  So long as the war lasts, your power will as well. Do what you have to and we will come up with arguments as needed.  Per our previous discussion, think about declaring yourself president for life. Some members of your own party may object, but will fall in line.

YOU ARE A PRESIDENT without precedent!   Remember you are saving lives here! Also, executing all Democrats and media types might be helpful.  The less traitors around, the more rights for the rest of us.  See Rumsfeld about finding pens less mighty than the sword.

XMAS IS A BITCH, BILL O'REILLY

A DEVIL DOG UPDATE The War on Christmas has now been declared the central front in the Global War on Error Terror Everything TM.  The heathens may lift up their glasses to toast what matter most.  But not the Devil Dog.  The Devil Dog would chew on those who choose to charge or pay by check if they don't have time to keep the Christ in Christmas and more importantly the X in Xmas.  The Devil Dog knows  X marks the spot in the cultural wars where he has made his mark and he will again. The dog leaves the toasts and Xmas roasts to others.

THE DEVIL DOG MARKS this day of sadness as he marks every day, with a lift of his leg. The dog mournfully wails to the moon the latest news.   Bush takes time out from taking time out on Iraq to declare War on Christmas.  If Bill O'Reilly mounts counter attack on White House, does that make the Loofah Loser from Levittown a counterinsurgent? 

XMAS IS A BITCH, BILL O'Reilly comes back year after year. It's just like Get a Life It's A Wonderful Life.  Plus Mrs. Beazley is hot. Bad Tthings from TBogg. War Stories from The Moderate Voice.  Behind the barricades with the baroness at All Things Beautiful.

WARM CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY GREETINGS This Xmas remember to buy til you fry in hell, heathens. 

PREVIOUS ENCOUNTERS with the Devil Dog can be found here, here, here and here.   Look for the Devil Dog's Adult Xmas Special on FXXX.

A BIG BONE FOR SAM ALITO

THE DEVIL DOG HEARTS SAM ALITO Not to bitch too much or pee on anybody in Hollywood’s Christmas Parade, but the star on the Devil Dog’s Xmas tree has Sam Alito’s name all over it.  Alito’s views on religious displays with government support may be a bone of contention, but the Devil Dog would share his juiciest bone on Kwanza morning for the new star of some conservative groups’ new ads

"Liberal groups like People for the American Way and the A.C.L.U. have opposed public Christmas and Hanukkah displays and even fought to keep Christmas carols out of school," declares a radio commercial paid for by the conservative Committee for Justice beginning Monday in Colorado, Wisconsin and West Virginia, states whose senators are considered pivotal votes on Judge Alito.
"Some courts and judges have supported this radical agenda, but not Judge Sam Alito," it continues. "Throughout his career, Judge Alito has consistently upheld the Constitution's protection of free religious expression."
Fidelis, a conservative Roman Catholic group, has begun an Internet advertisement and plans to buy radio commercials with a similar theme as early as next week. "Judge Alito ruled against the A.C.L.U.'s attempt to scrub away our religious heritage," a narrator says, recalling an opinion Judge Alito wrote upholding a Jersey City display including a Nativity scene and a menorah.

BLESSED BE SAMUEL Alito never met a menorah gathering with public support he couldn’t support.  The Devil Dog is looking for the appropriate place off public property where he can spin the dredel with Sam and hopefully not pee on his leg.

OTHER SAM ALITO STORIES FOR THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY SEASON
KENNEDY HAS QUESTIONS ABOUT VANGUARD Sen. Edward Kennedy on Monday questioned what he said were Samuel Alito’s multiple explanations for not immediately disqualifying himself from a case involving the Vanguard companies, which handle his mutual fund investments.
Kennedy, D-Mass., said in a letter to the Supreme Court nominee: “You have given at least six different answers to the basic question of why you not only sat on the case, but presided, signed orders and joined an opinion upholding Vanguard’s position in that case.”

BOTH THE DEVIL DOG and his part time master The Heretik think Kennedy is being far too harsh on Alito.  When most people can’t even get one straight answer from the likes of Bush, Rumsfeld and Rice, getting six answers should be looked at as very generous, Teddy Boy.

WELL RECUSE EXCUSE ME for asking In 1987, Samuel A. Alito Jr., then the US attorney for the district of New Jersey, signed a bank fraud indictment of a New Jersey man named Larry Kopp. Later, when Alito became a federal appeals judge, he put the Kopp case on his ''standing recusal" list, seeking to uphold his promise that he would disqualify himself from any case that he had supervised as US attorney.

THE DEVIL DOG HOWLS AGAIN So what if some of Sam's proceedings involved his sister?  A big bow wow wow to Bill O'Reilly and the Foxes for making a mint on the shopping madness!

A BIG NEW HOWL Why does George Bush hate Christmas?

WARM CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY GREETINGS This Xmas remember to buy til you fry in hell, heathens. 

PREVIOUS ENCOUNTERS with the Devil Dog can be found here, here and here.   Look for the Devil Dog's Adult Xmas Special on FXXX.

KILLING TIME IN KENNEBUNKPORT

“Now, Bar, don’t be getting yourself riled up again,” George Herbert Walker Bush said as he looked back at his wife.

“Should I shed tears for that fat ass Cheney then, Poppy?”

“No, Bar, would be a waste.  Wouldn’t be worth it.  Asking for tears for Cheney would be as prudent as asking for a match from the devil.  Heck, Bar, I’m not sure Cheney isn’t the devil. ”

“Should I have sympathy for the little pig in a poke Rove?  What about Scooter Libby?  All the little pigs are about to get greased.”

“Love it when you talk Texan, Bar.”

“When I get to Washington,  I will whip all their asses.  The only one who hasn’t done W wrong is that nice boy Karen Hughes.”

“Karen Hughes is a woman, Bar.”

“Ha.  Don’t make me laugh.  Karen Hughes looks as much like a woman as I do.  Now who’s your daddy, Poppy?”

“You are, Bar.”

Whap! And the whip came down again.

“Could you be a little more gentle than the last time we played this game?”

“Shut up, Poppy, you little bitch.  Say you’re my bitch!”  Whap!  "Call me the countess."

KEEP X IN XMAS, BILL O'REILLY

THE DEVIL DOG HOWLS AGAIN with the news. For canines and kids of all ages this will be the best winter solstice ever.  While some will clean up shopping, some will have to clean up after the Devil Dog's "gifts" he has left under some holiday tributes.  These short days mark a special time of year and the Devil Dog has marked them in his own special way.  The  Dog has lifts his leg in tribute to all shoppers in every store he visits.  Still Bill O’Reilly continues to be in a bunch.

Religious conservatives have a cause this holiday season: the commercialization of Christmas. They're for it.
The American Family Association is leading a boycott of Target for not using the words "Merry Christmas" in its advertising. (Target denies it has an anti-Merry-Christmas policy.) The Catholic League boycotted Wal-Mart in part over the way its Web site treated searches for "Christmas." Bill O'Reilly, the Fox anchor who last year started a "Christmas Under Siege" campaign, has a chart on his Web site of stores that use the phrase "Happy Holidays," along with a poll that asks, "Will you shop at stores that do not say 'Merry Christmas'?"

WARM HOLIDAY GREETINGS to all!  Buy til you fry in hell, heathens.  When will the shopping madness end?

PREVIOUS ENCOUNTERS with the Devil Dog can be found here and here.   Look for the Devil Dog's Adult Xmas Special on FXXX.

HOLY XMAS, BILL O'REILLY!

SOME DAYS THE DEVIL DOG would just love to bite Bill O’Reilly on the ass, but it seems Bill is rabid enough without the Devil Dog’s help.

On the November 28 broadcast of his nationally syndicated radio show, host Bill O'Reilly pointed to "a very secret plan" by the "secular progressive" movement, which he said aims to "diminish Christian philosophy in the U.S.A." It is a plan he links to his perception that many now avoid the holiday greeting "Merry Christmas." O'Reilly's disclosure of this "secret plan" was followed the day after by a rant on his radio show against the "hateful liars" who "spit out" "blatant propaganda" that is "picked up by the mainstream media, and rammed down the public's throat."

SPIT OUT?  Be careful around Bill.  He seems to be foaming at the mouth.  Very dangerous.  Very dangerous indeed. Did you say bow to Christmas, Bill, or was that bow wow? Wow.

PREVIOUS ENCOUNTERS with the Devil Dog can be found here and here.  Visit the Devil Dog's favorite site for examining the rabid right: Fire Dog Lake.  And look for the Devil Dog's own new blog soon: French Poodle Pond featuring commentary from Baux Waux Waux.

THE WAR ON THE DEVIL DOG can be seen nightly on Fox News right after most of the program that will be dedicated to the War on Xmas Christmas.  Neither of these religious wars should be considered part of the government’s Global War on Terror (GWOT), a completely owned subsidiary of the War on Everything TM.

MERRY XMAS, BABY

CONTROVERSY CONTINUES  to rage over keeping the Devil Dog in Christmas Xmas.  A holy war An unholy war of the righteous and the lefteous is now engaged.  Oh, no.  Oh, no. Oh, no.

THE WAR ON the Devil Dog can be seen nightly on Fox News right after most of the program that will be dedicated to the War on Xmas Christmas.  Neither of these religious wars should be considered part of the government’s Global War on Terror (GWOT), a completely owned subsidiary of the War on Everything TM.

A HELLHOUND HOLIDAY

DEVIL WORSHIPPERS are not happy this Xmas.  First up: there will be no Devil Dog Christmas Xmas stamp this year. Even if people just wanted a nice non religious “artistic” stamp for Christmas the holidays, they can’t get the Madonna and Child Devil Dog and Pup.  The government says the Devil Dog has his place, just not on stamps.  Tasteful, Renaissance renditions of the hellhound by the masters on stamps will be replaced with stamps featuring tasty cookies. Why does the government hate Jesus The Devil Dog?  Don't they realize the devil spawn put the X in Xmas?

THE WAR ON the Devil Dog can be seen nightly on Fox News right after most of the program that will be dedicated to the War on Xmas Christmas.  Neither of these religious wars should be considered part of the government’s Global War on Terror (GWOT), a completely owned subsidiary of the War on Everything TM.

NEW AMERICAN GOTHIC

MY WIFE IS VERY UPSET about George Bush’s Veteran’s day speech.  She had a few things to tell me about patriotism, lies and Iraq.  My wife told me she would have nothing to say about the Democrats and intelligence before the war.  With the way the Democrats are acting she said it is clear they lack a lot of things.  Patriotism and intelligence are the least of it.

I HAVE COME TO EXPECT these sad, sardonic comments from my wife.  It has been a long time since she wore the happy panties.  She has become quite a bit more profane in her comments.  I blame the Democrats, but not as much as her.  God damned democrats.  Twisting the Commander in Chief George Bush’s arm.  Not showing him all the intelligence he would need to have to make a fully informed decision on Iraq.

I THOUGHT MY WIFE was done.  She was not.  If there is anything my wife is not, it is done.  Why should I be done and over, she says.  I’ll be done and over when this war is over too.   She blames the Democrats.  I do too.

GOD DAMNED DEMOCRATS forcing Bush to go to war, telling him we could not wait for the smoking gun that could be a mushroom cloud.  God damned Dems going to the CIA not once but several times.  How could these Democrats create their own unreviewed and unvetted stovepiped intelligence and force it on the President?  God damn them dems and all their talk of aluminum tubes and making us eat that yellowcake.

GOD DAMNED DEMOCRATS for officially using the power reserved to Congress and declaring war.  Fuck you, you bitches.  My wife now says stuff like fuck you , you bitches, and she yells them at the television screen. Or sometimes when she is folding laundry.  Fuck you, you bitches, giving us shock and awe and some cakewalk that now seems more like a shocking and awful quagmire.

GOD DAMNED DEMOCRATS for suggesting the war would pay for itself, for saying time and again we are taking the war to the terrorists there so we don’t have to fight them there.  Fuck you, you bitches, for confusing Saddam with Osama!  Where the fuck’s Osama?

MOTHERFUCKING son of a bitch unpatriotic Democrats breaking the hearts of mothers who have sons and daughters who will never come home.  Thanks for taking them to war and attending none of the funerals because you care. Fuck you, you bitches.

GOD DAMNED SON OF A BITCH motherfucking bastard Democrats so anxious to give tax breaks to your richy rich friends and cutting funding for veterans as our treasury and the blood of sons and daughters who will never see a Veteran’s Day bleed out.  Fuck you, just fuck you, you lying, unpatriotic bitches.

SON OF A BITCH god damned cocksucking Democrats, you should all take it up the ass and hard and not the way you like it!  God damned Democrats, leading us to war and then blaming Bush who only followed the Democrats’ lead into that bloody desert.  Fuck you, you bitches, and anybody else who blames somebody else for what them themselves did.

AFTER THIS RANT I was worried about my wife and thought things were really bad.  She went all quiet and still.  I thought perhaps the exertion had gotten to her. Maybe she had popped an artery in her brain and had a stroke. I went to touch her.  She jerked alive and grabbed my hand and said everything was fine.  I asked her if she was sure.

OF COURSE she said.  Thank you and may God bless America. And fuck you, you democrat bitches.

WHY MY WIFE SHOULD AVOID "THE MEDIA"
BUT HERE'S THE QUESTION [Meet the Press]  My wife was watching Tim Russert on NBC going at it with Ken Mehlman, the guy she says is gay, but now leads Repbulicans against gays.  She said Russert and Mehlman weren't going at it the way they might on cable, but that Mehlman was giving it pretty good and that Russert just doesn't get it.

KEN MEHLMAN: In fact, Tim, the Robb-Lieberman commission--excuse me, the Robb-Silverman Commission looked at this and they found something very different.  The president got briefed every single day.  The members of Congress had access to information.  The information was basically the same, except what the Robb-Silverman Commission found was that the information the president got was more dramatic.  In other words, the argument here says that if somehow they saw what he saw, they wouldn't have believed the case for war was made.  In fact what the commission who looked at it found out was the opposite was true, which was that the evidence for war was more dramatically presented to the president than it was to Congress. [blah, blah,blah]
But it's not just this information.  The fact is since 1998, this administration and the previous administration, had the same policy.  It was regime change in Iraq.  The U.N. looked at it, the Germans looked at it, the French looked at it, the Clinton administration looked at it, the Bush administration looked at it, members of Congress looked at it.  They all agreed that this guy has WMD and he has a desire to have a more aggressive program going forward and they all concluded he needed to be removed.  And there was an intelligence failure. [blah, blah, blah]
But here's the question.  The question is, how do you respond to that?  Do you respond to it by correcting the intelligence, or do you do what the Democrats are doing, which is laying politics with it.  And I think the president's point was at this critical moment in this critical war, with this central front in the war on terror, playing politics is not what we should be doing. [blah, blah, blah]
. . . Would we be safer if we'd waited?  The lesson of 9/11 is that we don't wait until after the attack to respond.

MY WIFE LOOKED AT ME She thinks the Republicans are as bad as the Democrats.  Yo, my wife said as she looked at the screen. Yo, Mehlman.  Fuck you.  Fuck you and your bitches.

WHY MY WIFE SHOULD AVOID READING BLOGS
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK Tom Maguire rips Dems here and here.  Captain Ed on Dem traitor Jay Rockefeller here.  Why Tim Russert blows here. Some Libber named Maha fights back.