The Heretik

Snarky Penguin 1, 101 Fighting Keyboarders 0

Penguin Routs 101 Fighting
Keyboarders


Leader Goldberg Wounded
Keyboarders Fly,
Even Without White Feathers


AS TOLD BY THE Snarky Penguin:
The action was getting furious, and, without looking, Goldberg opened an email from an unknown address. On the monitor was the image of a single white feather. Goldberg fell back in his office chair, and hit the ground and began moaning, softly and piteously.

“Medic!” shouted Derbyshire.

Heretik Research Associates at the MisInformed Sources Desk cannot confirm or deny whether the Snarky Penguin flipped Goldberg off.  "But it seems likely, given his snarky, irritable ass nature," said The Heretik on the scene.

Your Most Trusted Name in News!

 

Link: Badtux the Snarky Penguin: 101st Fighting Keyboarders in trouble.

Battle Between Fun and Evil Rages On

Jesus' General Returns From Dead,
Leads The Fight That Must Be Won (tm)

Skirmish at Gannongate
Grows
Jesus' General Vows Victory

Brought to You By Your Most
Trusted Name in News!

White House: Free World Must Now Be Paid For

Another disturbing  update in the new War on Everything: Because costs of the war cannot be estimated and put in a budget, The Free World must now be paid for.   An unnamed official in the White House Budget office explained, "People have always had bills. We don't see this any differently."

See: The Heretik: Snark Attacks Defenseless Bush on the Couch.

The Battle Is Joined, Forces For Fun Gather

The Bad Penguin required no suggestion from The Heretik to sign up with the Forces For Fun(tm).  In preparation for The Final Victory and some payback for risking his psycho penguin ass, the Penguin has wisely trademarked the War on Fun (aka The Rapture).  I have trademarked Forces for Fun(tm) and The Rapture(tm).  Not that we are fighting the war for money.  Not at all. Not that much.

Now back to the War on Fun.

From My Good Friend:Badtux the Snarky Penguin.

"Now, the question is, does our new Attorney General, Abu "I Love Torture!" Gonzales, embrace the War On Fun(tm) too? And the answer is, of course, YES! Seems that somewhere in Santa Fe, New Mexico, these Brazillians were having some fun. In CHURCH, no less! Oh the horror! Church? Fun? What next, fatty foods that slim you down? Cigarettes that are good for you? Beer that makes you sober? Heresy!"

On another front The War on Satire looms.  The White House expressed little doubt any and all wars could be won.  A senior Republican source said, "Look what we're up against.  A psycho penguin and some heretik chained to his desk at the mouth of hell.  These guys make Dean look sane.  The War on Satire, the War on Fun, we'll have them both done two week tops."

On CNN, Wolf Owitz told Wolf Blitzer, "We will be greeted as liberators."