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SCREW KEVIN DRUM AND HIS RIGHTEOUS LEFTEOUS SOCIAL SERVICES:
The Heretik Just Got a Chance to Make Some Real Cash on Tour. And those hottie litle hellions Jenna and Barbara Bush are down on him, um down with it! Oy.
REAL SERIOUS WORLD CALLING:The Heretik Needs to Make Some EXTRA cash. Oy.
TO ALL MY SORRY SOB SISTER AND BITCHING BROS:
ONCE AGAIN THE HERETIK SELLS OUT, BUT BEFORE HE GOES, A QUESTION
Is Edvard Munch the signature artist of The Post 9/11 Twentyfirst Century. A man born in Norway in 1863 proves the grace and power of art are ageless. His work The Scream, a scene on an Oslo street during an aurora, may be his most evocative work. A scene, an aurora, an evocation, a scream.
Munch's effect on German Expressionism was enormous. Or was it? Was Munch ahead of his time? Ahead of all time? Is art a only a reaction to its time, the definition of an age, or just some dude's deal? And just what the hell is German Expressionism? Well, it's German and it's Expressive. Duh?
Short story? Feeling within means more than external objective "reality." Mister Inside vs Mister Outside. Reality matters only as a base for our reaction to it.
Whatever. Anybody who thinks Expressive Germans don't matter took the middle of the Twentieth Century off. Tant pis.
Somebody walked into the Munch Museum in Oslo last year and stole The Scream and one version of Madonna in broad daylight. Bastards.
This brings us to the most important part of this tale. The rise of The Age of Heretik Expressionism. Once again The Heretik is selling out. He is taking all his being and nothingness, all his toys without a time, and leaving the playground. And why?
The Heretik has had it with reality, he has had it with faith. The Heretik has had it with thieves who steal money, politicians who rape the souls of nations, and parents who put their interests first. The Heretik has one last thing to say before he leaves, something to those thieves who stole the works of Munch that belong not to any museum but to the world. F*ck. F*ck you. F*ck you, you f*cking f*cks, f*ck you.
SOME THINGS HAD TO BE DONE
But some things had to be done. So The Heretik stole this wicked image from that kid with the dreadlocks Jonah in the Belly of the Whale. Not like I'm alone in stealing stuff from the next generation. The Heretik has tried really, really like hard to be a righteous leftist. It's hard work.
The Heretik has counseled many people to stay in the fight: you inspire me, blah, blah, blah. That Suburban Guerrilla Hot Shot Hot News Hot Chick kind of gave me the greatest left handed comment ever. Maybe pouring all this heart and soul sh*t on the page every day is just a vain endeavor. Man, it's hard work.
Some things had to be done. You hear that one a lot lately. Some things had to be done. We live in such extraordinary times. Unlike any other times of stress. Some things had to be done. Like there never was a Civil War. Or World War Two.
Ah, the Civil War. Greatest oxymoron of all time. What war is ever civil. Discuss. Some things had to be done. Some people cite Lincoln as the beginning of all big Federal power: suspending habeas corpus, shutting down newspapers, limiting dissent by arresting editors of newspapers. People say, Oh, yeah, Lincoln, wierdo beardo, greatest president ever. Saved the Union, freed the slaves. Love that wierdo beardo dude. And they say Lincoln is great because of his awful means used towards his noble end. As that silly foolish kid Jonah from The Tripping Post would say. Honest Word on Honest Abe. Suspending laws was not a credit to Lincoln's legacy. Our country did not survive because of his illegal acts, it survived despite them. That may be the last honest thing you will hear me say today. Or see. Because I am writing this. Not standing on some righteous leftist stump spewing sh*t.
Where was I? These meds are a bitch, the Devil's instrument. Oh, yeah. Hard work. Some things had to be done.
Some things had to be done is some thing some people say when they are f**king you in the *ss and they don't think you'll like it. An aside: some of you people like getting f**ked in the *ass and like it, either politically or personally. We would all be a lot better off if you were honest about it. But where was I? Oh, yeah. It's hard work. Some things had to be done. Man, I have been like totally sucking up to all these Uppity Women lately. Why? I tell my righteous leftist self: some things had to be done. I get told to do such things makes me a traitor to all the other Weenied Ones. Some things had to be done, dickheads. It's hard work.
One chick I will never suck up to is that dumb bitch Michelle Malkin. Don't like using the B word and all. And don't want to say I'm calling a spade a spade, because that Gotcha Squad is on the loose and blahdy, blahdy, blah, blah. I take it all back. Yeah, like that is possible. Michelle Malkin is not a bitch. No, not at all. She is way worse than that. She is a f*cking idiot. Bottom line to this demented dame. Good men do not become greater doing bad things. Our country did not and will not survive because our leaders break laws. We survive in spite of these acts.
It's hard work. Maybe I can say that sixteen times or so like Bush did in that first debate with Kerry. It's hard work. I am not going to say mysteriously with some hump on my back: Will you just let finish? Why? Because I am so close to being done. I am ready to forget about Poland, to forget about everything. It would be way easier. Some things have to be done.
Before I sell what's left of my soul and Satan gives me The Get Out of the Chair Here at the Desk Where I Report from the Mouth of Hell tm Pass, I have one thing to say: Some things had to be done. Did I say I had only one thing to say? Okay, this is one thing part two. It's hard work and I can't stand it anymore. One thing part three. I am selling out just like everbody else. Don't judge me. These are extraordinary time. Even I can't stand my righteous left ass anymore and hey, I need a break and would like to get laid good. Laid good and bad. Get laid and forget about all this BS thats's out there. I mean I really want to get f*cked. But before I sell out completely and go to work as official spokesmen for White House Fantasy Films, I want to speak in the spirit of all right thinking lawyers who go to L school with the right left intentions and end up working for The Man. And that spirit speaks to me now: I see a vision of the world, but man I got to pay some bills. Get back with me, huh.
Last Word on What Things Had to Be Done for the Good of Our Country (may need update by somebody else who still has a soul): Drilling for Oil in Alaska. Torturing the Guilty and the Innocent Without Charges, without Conscience. The War on Everything Brought to You by the People who Know Best. The Dicking of Social Security For the Many for the Benefit of the Few. Screw this.
This is hard work. C ya. The Heretik sells out. Just like everybody else.
The Heretik Out.
I leave the great work yet to be done to the following people: Jonah and Kevin Drum. That covers the young and the middle aged, people not from The Greatest Generation. If you know any cranky old farts who still have a conscience, tell them there is a job opening available if they can't get by on Social Security.
JONAH IN THE BELLY OF THE WHALE
KEVIN DRUM
EXTRAORDINARY RENDITION....In the annals of "no shit" moments, this lede has to be somewhere in the top ten: The system the CIA relies on to ensure that the suspected terrorists it transfers to other countries will not be tortured has been ineffective and virtually impossible to monitor, according to current and former intelligence officers and lawyers, as well as counterterrorism officials who have participated in or reviewed the practice.
NOTE TO HERETIK SELF: May have O D'ed on Satire literary device. Readers may think you are as serious as these times we face
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