AND ON THE EIGHTH DAY, MAN AND WOMAN LAUGHED TOGETHER. In playful lies they had found truth, and in truth they slept easy with dreams of wonder in now closed eyes. If there is a god in heaven may he forever protect the likes of Roxanne Cooper from the demons down below. Not that she will need much help.
THE HERETIK IS MOST GRATEFUL for the lessons he has picked up from floating in the "non serious" sea of blogostan in the wake of Rox Populi. What kindness and generosity are found in seeming cruel laughter.
Early on before the day of destruction, Rox P let The Heretik have at it in the Comments section before the pages opened to everyone else.
THE HERETIK HAS A LOVE OF MASKS AND THE MADNESS OF THE STAGE. His father was a brilliant actor who became a bittersweet barrister. Rox Populi, I thank you for raising my father's more joyful spirit again in me. (And oh, for the final time, may it be stated The Heretik is a guy complete with dick and balls, though missing one or two brains cells in the head.)
THANK YOU ROX POPULI for allowing me to be someone else and in doing so find my truth. A most kind and generous soul shares not just the toys, but also the playground.
So on the pages of Michelle Maklin I appeared as Marshall Mathers. Among others.
Super Market Security Mom:
You are totally off the hooKAH with your crime rhymes about the
chronic! I just wish I was younger and you had a kid cuz ya know I did.
I know I'd be coming round for some of them kookies, yeah, your kookies and sum bitches sandwiches.
You wuld be like my FAVORITE MILF MOMMA. Did I say I am a your number one fan, an I'm not talking as STAN?
Chill child, I see you in a while.
Posted by: Marshall Mathers | March 30, 2005 06:31 PM
Ms. Maklin:
I see a real opportunity for us both, for you to move out of the
produce aisle where people notice how you spend so much time handling
the cucumbers and for me to have another hit like Sixteen Candles with
Molly Ringwald.
Yeah, been a long time since I rock and rolled careerwise, directorwise, made some moves unwise careerwise. I am doing some research on this pitch right now. Hold on a second while I take another pull of this bong. Thanks.
You help me write the screenplay. Lindsey Lohan. Hillary Duff.(Catfight still on?) One of the less anorexic girls from the OC. Throw in Jack Nicholson and some of this kill kill kindbud you seem to know so much about. Title: Dope Witches of Westwood. What do you say?
Let's try and meet at the parking lot of the Seven Eleven Tenish.
Posted by: John Hughes | March 30, 2005 06:44 PM
Your ideas are most intriguing. Believe me. The President shares your concerns, if not your rather limited experience with illegal drugs.
As far as your ideas go for a solution, you and I are reading out of the same book, a book that has not yet been burned.
After we intern all the irresponsble parents in Family Support Camps, we will start rounding up the teenagers. Because we do believe in family values, we may in fact finally Leave No Child Behind here.
Posted by: Alberto Gonzales | March 30, 2005 06:54 PM
G friend, whatever you do, don't mantion that I sold your dad a dime bag back in the day! Your response: Dime bag? What dime bag? Back in the day? What day? Remember we are Republicans. When the going gets tough, tough Republicans still follow the easy script!
Posted by: Laura Bush | March 30, 2005 06:59 PM
FROM I FEEL PRETTY. . . . OH , SO PRETTY!
Really dear, you are such a pretty girl when you keep your mouth shut. And do something with that hair before family dinner this Sunday!
Posted by: Your Mother | March 29, 2005 11:37 AM
M, it's not just guys who think you are hot, if you know what I mean, nudge, nudge, wink, wink! ;) LYLAS with emphasis on L and S.
Posted by: Forever Your Girl Annie Coulter | March 29, 2005 11:40 AM
I would think you are hot, as it were, and would take um action in your sphere if I could, but I have a family. So I will just take hold of the problem here at my keyboard. Michele, I am not like all those other keyboard wankers who work their arguments up into a, into a, into a . . . . Uh, oh, I thought I had tissues here.
Posted by: Jonah "If I Only Had A Penis " Goldberg | March 29, 2005 11:44 AM
From somebody who put the lap in the dog, yo, yo, you rule, my little dominatrix of doom and gloom. People, we gotta not talk about this.
Posted by: Sean "Alwaze Yer Dog" Hannity | March 29, 2005 11:49 AM
Conservative? I think I'm more than conservative enough for the both of us, Michimama. You just take care of those righteous looks, babe. I'll take care of the righteous argument. Hoping you will get to spend some more time next Christmas at the North Pole. I snap to your salute.
Posted by: Oliver North | March 29, 2005 11:55 AM
FROM FRIDAY SHUFFLE
Not that this is any reflection on my personal life, because you know, sometimes the personal is not political and I'm not really either or I would tell my husband what a-- what a good husband he is!
I like everything, by Tears for Fears.
And W gets a simply huge Woodrow Wilson thing going when he hears Everybody Wants to Rule the World.
Posted by: Laura "I'm So Proud My Last Name Is" Bush | April 1, 2005 11:40 AM
THE HERETIK LOVES TO MESS WITH PEOPLE'S HEADS. In commenting on other sites, I inadvertently posted a few times as Laura Bush. Okay, one time I posted advertently as Laura Bush.
FROM TRISH WILSON: HYPERMASCULINITY
Men are jealous of women's ability to procreate and our close natural bond with children...
My thoughts exactly, NY MOM! And that's why they have to march off to war. But there's hope. Ashcroft is gone and the mighty boobs of justice swing free to knock sense into these asses!
Would you do me a favor? Tell that nice little Heretik houseboy I want to give him a big Texas hello, would you now, sweetie? ThankYew!
Posted by: Laura Bush at March 30, 2005 11:30 PM
I got this response from one reader:
"Would you do me a favor? Tell that nice little Heretik houseboy I want to give him a big Texas hello, would you now, sweetie? ThankYew!"
I think Heretik is a WOMAN...
WELL THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE. TO BE A WOMAN IS NO SMALL FEAT IN THIS WORLD. TO BE A WOMAN LIKE ROX POPULI'S ROXANNE COOPER IS FAR GREATER THAN THAT.
I think Heretik is a WOMAN... I get that all the time . .. . But it was not my intention to draw attention too much too myself. Thank you again to Roxanne Cooper for opening up her playground, for sharing all her toys with me and with the world. When the laughter drops away, may a gentle light forever rest on the face of my loving and laughing friend Roxanne. She is a doctor for an ailing heart. If she is indeed such a doctor, The Patient of this Country need her now more than ever.
We, The Patient, are not dead yet, but should we die now, may we all die laughing.
A FINAL WORD FROM ROXANNE COOPER on Michelle Maklin:
Punk'd
People! People!
Of course, this is a parody site! And I couldn't have done it without the help of the following contributors, artists, brainstormers, and emotional-supporters:
Ms. Lauren -- designer extraordinare
mr. grumpyhead
The entire gang at World Nut Daily
Mark Gisleson
Michael Bérubé
Chris Clarke
Susan Madrak
The Heretik
Norbizness
Patriotboy
Amanda and Jesse
Billmon
Atrios
Shakespeare's Sister
Tild
Pinko Feminist Hellcat
Trish Wilson
Astarte
Michele Catalano
Liza Sabater
***
Let me also leave you with this final thought: It IS better to fight them with words than with salad dressing.
07:19 PM | Permalink
THE HERETIK HAS ONE FINAL WORD: Kevin Drum, this was all "serious" fun. And last but not least, God damn Nixon!
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