BRAND W

W W W We will not waver (see waiver for important details).  The wicked will not win.(Results may vary.  Your victory results may not be the same as ours.)  It’s World War Three, the Global War on Everything Terror TM, brought to you by the people who brought you W, the boy on the bubble who stood on the rubble, the man to stand behind as they stand up and we stand down.  We should all fall down with shock and awe at the brilliance of such Patriot Acts.  W, W, W. Watch what you say, watch what you do.  The Heretik is falling down laughing.  Or something.

ONCE YOU REALIZE W George Bush is a brand, the marketing of the less than smart seems more the stuff of genius.  Iraq?  The mess of what was Mesopotamia for the White House is like the problem General Motors has with those two McKrap TM brands Buick and Pontiac.

HOW DO YOU KEEP market share (and the bases in Iraq that are key to transforming the Middle East)?  Brand W is not withdrawal, although there will be a drawdown.  You start training the Iraqis (think: Vietnamization), so the failures are their own.  With Brand W, the Iraqis are in the driver’s seat it seems, but you know what’s more important.

SO LONG AS THE IRAQIS DRIVE no matter what bumps in the road they hit and no matter how many dings the car takes, you forever get to ride shotgun.  Brand W shoots straight.  The war can go dirty with death squads and you never have to come clean. The Iraqis can vote and have a “democracy” that fails.  Failure for them is a win for W.  Because then the shotgun will always be needed, whether it is sawed off or sawed down numbers of troops.  We will be in Iraq forever, which was always W’s will and his way.  World War Three is just a cover. Now if W’s people can just get We the People to buy it.

OTHER HOT BRANDS
ZARQAWI STANDS IN for Osama as active evil in Iraq.  Osama is now CEO of evil, working behind the scenes, better to be never found for then he can be forever chased, but not too vigorously.

KERRY IS SO VERY useful. Any unfortunate line spoken by John Kerry (soldiers terrorize mothers and children) should be seized on and twisted.  John Kerry stands with the terrorists. Brought to you by the same people who put the Swift Boats in the water.

RUMSFELD REDUX  Former supermodel now pitches warnings on cable.

HOWARD DEAN  just needs to keep talking.  Let the right pundits punk him. Parody will play.  Self parody or self destruction?
 
NEW AND IMPROVED CONDI RICE  can speak out of both sides of mouth on torture and misstate matters of state. 

CHENEY UNCHAINED Foaming at the mouth and snarling minimized if dog is given regular walk.

THE WORSE THINGS GET the better for Brand W
BOMBS EXPLODE At least 27 Iraqis died Tuesday when two suicide bombers walked into a police academy in Baghdad and detonated themselves, a U.S. military spokesman said.

SADDAM EXPLODES Court room melt downs only a reminder of “The Madman.”