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What I Read in the Waiting Room of Hell

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From the Tongues of Angels

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« A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING | Main | BURNING DESIRE OF LAURA BUSH »

June 28, 2005

Comments

Lance Mannion

Aw, mom! How come you always arrive just when I'm about to get my bits pinched?

bitchphd

Does anyone have any gin? I couldn't find any earlier tonight, so I'm having a tonic & strawberry ice cream shake with lime.

Yes. Sad. But cooling!

Mannion's Mom

Lance was a very nice young man. The blonde is a saint, you know. Most people have to die to get that status, but the blonde . . .

Shakespeare's Sister

With the way she's going at those jello shots, she'll be under the table in no time.

Lance Mannion

Joe! Excellent work again on Mukhtar Mai! Buy yourself a drink on me!

Lance Mannion

Well, Betty's buying, but if she wasn't it would be on me! Cheers to you!

Shakespeare's Sister

Lance was a very nice young man.

Was. Whatever happened?

Used to be a sweet boy
But something went wrong
Something went wrong
And I know, I'm not to blame....

bitchphd

I think Shakes and Heretik both deserve drinks. I'm feeling guilty about completely ignoring the body politc of late, but I just can't get it up for that body any more.

Lance Mannion

Mom, I know you like the blonde better than you like me. You don't have to follow me around telling the whole world!

Shakespeare's Sister

Hi, Bitch!

Lance, don't feel bad. My parents prefer the redheaded Scot to me, too. Saint doesn't begin to cover it. If anything makes them abandon Martin Luther, it will be to start a new religion in worship of the man who puts up with the likes of me.

Lance Mannion

They sure do, Dr B. They sure do. To them! Wait a minute. I just noticed something.

bitchphd

Hi, Shakes! Did you like my joke about Macbeth's witches?

Lance Mannion

That settles it, Sis, neither one of us is good enough for the person we married. We don't deserve them. I think we both should admit it and do the right thing.

The Heretik

Where did DuWayne go with the Booker? The rest of the band is here/

Shakespeare's Sister

Bitch, I loved it. Too funny! I may have to add that in my endorsements column, right under Lance's.

Lance, are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting? I told you I can't run the galaxy with you. Not until I figure out the toaster.

Once I have evenly toasted bread, however, then we will rule the universe.

Shakespeare's Sister

Or, conversely, if you can name the movie from whence the toaster line came, then I will immediately seek intergalactic domination with you.

bitchphd

Ooh, I just got to ban a troll!

DuWayne

Sorry, I still have half a bottle left. Oh sh*t make it a quarter bottle, but I can start slow sippin now, anyone else for a shot?

Lance Mannion

I'm still noticing something.

Shakespeare's Sister

Bitch, you really are a bitch. If you're lucky, someone will call you the Ann Coulter of the Left like I was when I banned my first troll!

DuWayne

If not how about some Knob Creek? It's not quite as much kick but a little smoother.

Lance Mannion

Sis, I was suggesting we run away and live lives of utter sin and debauchery to prove how unworthy of our spouses we are. We'll make a point of sinning and debauching in places where somebody else knows how to make toast.

bitchphd

Heh, no one's called me that yet. The troll did suggest that I ban him, because it would "make me feel like a man."

DW, I'm holding out for gin. Too hot for bourbon.

Lance Mannion

Dr B, I'm so jealous. I've yet to have a troll worth banning. Betty? A drink for Dr B, on me. Dr B, tell us the sordid details.

Shakespeare's Sister

Oh. In that case, all right then.

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