Dear Quasi:
We haven’t heard from the agnostic deists in quite some time. Like some of our leaders perhaps you just take month long vacations. I have a pressing question about the press, this thing they call the MSM. None of the MSM will give me the time of day.
My question concerns S and M, MSM, and MSG. How is a girl supposed to make any sense of them? Please tell me how they are any different? Should I be worried more about the MSM or the MSG? Do the MSM engage in S and M? If so, are they the ones who do the S or the ones who enjoy the M?
What about MSM and MSG? Is MSM as bad as MSG is for your diet? I know this is a lot to put on you in one go, but I really need to know.
Sincerely,
Betty Blogger
Betty, thank you for your question. The answer is yes. Haven't you heard this before? We must be positive about all things, so the answer is yes. Yes specifically and yes in general. Yes in private as well. Your need to know will get you in trouble some day, young lady.
But I can see you more Pandora than Pollyanna, so I will give you the answers that you seek. Don’t blame me for the consequences.
The mainstream media (MSM) does engage in S and M. First the MSM is the M, the masochist half when your leaders jam the stenographers’ pads up the reporters’ cubicles. Some reporters do like that and it is still legal for now. Your mainstream press is whipped.
But then the MSM whips up these so called stories and inflicts them on the public. So they are sadists as well.
As far MSM and MSG (mono sodium glutemate), both are bad in steady diet. Take no more than a sprinkle a day. Both MSM and MSG make you hungry, but soon leave you wanting more. Whatever you do, do not take MSM or MSG alone. You asked, I told.
The Quasi have spoken.
Do you have a problem with love, life or work? The Quasi Deist Agnostics are here to help. Leave question in the comments. Think the Quasi got it wrong or want to suck up? You can do that to.
Massive amounts of money are spent every year convincing women that men want us to be---or at least look--young, with big, pouty lips (not there's something I've never understood--who's ever been attracted to a person who was pouting?), enormous breasts and a massive head full of naturally shining hair.
Pray tell Quasi, why is this affliction visited upon us? What about those of us that have got no lips, pouty or otherwise?
Now, I personally have not ever had one single guy in my whole lifelong experience with guys ever say to my face that he wished I had bigger hair, tits, or lips. These are just things that women get told by magazines that men are dying for us to have and we decide, based on nothing but this hearsay, to believe it. Fine.
My own personal experience with guys has been that whatever it is that you've got, they will be just absolutely tickled to death with it if you give them any kind of access to it at all. They are not nearly as critical of us as we are, and it's a damn good thing too. Nobody would ever get any if they were.
Posted by: Missouri Mule | June 10, 2005 at 10:51 AM
Now, now, Ms. Mule. I've seen your picture. You have a wonderful head of shiny hair and your well-manicured hooves are to die for. And when you rear your head back and smile -- well, it just brightens up the day with heehaw highlights. I bet plenty of guys have chased your ass around the meadows.
Long Suffering is one lucky Dude...
Posted by: Kate S. | June 10, 2005 at 11:09 AM
How did so much wisdom bless me in one place?
Posted by: The Heretik | June 10, 2005 at 11:14 AM
What is this obsession with penis size our culture has? Does it really matter? Men seem to think women care too much but I think men obsess over it unnecessarily. Personally I think men with huge cocks tend to think they're God's gift by default, so all they have to do is lie there, detached, emtionless while you are privileged by being able to ride them. Ok, maybe not all, but what do you do when a man thinks he's given you the fuck of your life and all you want to do is cry because if it wasn't apparent before it's all too obvious now that he just doesn't give two shits about you, and he's only with you because he likes getting regular sex, and you live Prague 2 when he lives at the end of the metro line and it's convenient for him not to have to go home after a night out.
Oh shit did I say too much?
Posted by: mutant cat | June 10, 2005 at 12:07 PM
I totally agree with the other ladies. If men are going to be judgemental and rude, then why should we "give them any kind of access to it."
But thanks for clearing up that S&M/MSM deal for us!
Posted by: cookie | June 10, 2005 at 12:08 PM
Katie, your family and all, so your prejudice. But your right about Long Suffering, he worships the quick sand I walk on. Fool that he is. My farrier has been laided up drunk again in the jailhouse (again), so my hooves are looking kinda bad these days.
I can't believe I came here thinking I could get answers to these burning questions. What kind of gin palace are you running Quasi?
Posted by: Missouri Mule | June 10, 2005 at 12:10 PM
What gets me is all these bald mens with big ole pus guts making remarks about some woman's fat azz. Give me a break. Do thers fuckers ever look in the mirror?
Posted by: Missouri Mule | June 10, 2005 at 01:30 PM
I looked in the mirror and what I saw there bugged me.
Posted by: Franz K | June 10, 2005 at 03:34 PM