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What I Read in the Waiting Room of Hell

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From the Tongues of Angels

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Member since 02/2005

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May 29, 2005

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An Angry Old Broad

I have two cats.One is a comedian,the other very serious.The male cat,a large black and white named Aleister weighed less than a pound when I got him.Someone tossed him out of a moving car in a plastic bag,another motorist saw it,stopped and picked him up and took him to our vet.Our vet takes in stray kitties,makes sure they are healthy,and then sells them for a nominal fee.I fell in love with Al at first purr.He was so small in the beginning I had to feed him formula with an eyedropper,and keep him warm by carrying him around in a gardening apron.

Al now weighs about 14 lbs,and never ceases to provide a daily dose of laughter around here.He's not very graceful by cat standards,which means he's always either crashing into something or falling off something.We've taken to calling him Dubya these days,mostly because his main facial expression looks like he's always a couple hours behind everyone else's thinking process.You know, that"lights are on(a dimmer switch set to low)but nobody's home" sort of look.

Al and a squirrel have a running rivalry.The squirrel comes up on our deck every morning,for the sole purpose of fucking with Al for about an hour.Al is now on the dining room table,laying on this back,looking at the squirrel upside down,with about half his body hanging off the table.When he falls,and you know it's coming,he'll run to me whining until I pick him up and then will continue bitching til I hold him up to the window and tell him how mean that nasty old squirrel is to my poor baby boy.

Anyhoo,Al is who makes me laugh today.My husband and son are being grumpy and ornery today,so Al is the only male in my house that will be worth a few grins.

newswriter

Funny you should tell that story, AAOB, 'cause it's telling funny pet stories that has me laughin today. This newswriter must go to work early on a Sunday, and it is a bit of a slow morning today, so the assignment desk editor and I swapped pet stories for a while. Good way to start the day. Thanks for your story too!

Pursuit

What has got me smiling today. Watching my daughter kick some but on the soccer field. That and the juice from a grilled cheeseburger running down my chin.

Treban

I have been near panic in recent weeks trying to figure out how I am going to be able to make the money I need to get out to OR where my son's mother has decided we should move. They've been there two weeks now and I have been really depressed without my litle man to "help" me with the last minute jobs that will get me most of the way financialy.

I have traditionaly operated on faith, that I will get by and have my needs met. I have not always had the ideal circumstances but this has always held me in good stead. Still, ocasionaly I get nervous or stressed out about how things are going to work out. I just need to get over it. I just had the last job I am working on before I leave get extended just a couple of days. This will give me four hundred dollars more to move with and should cover everything I was nervous about. I also made a deal with the same guy to use his twelve month interest free Home Depot card to replace the tools I just pawned because they were getting old and worn and weren't worth taking out there. The problem was replacing them. I did'nt plan on doing it now but I have twelve months to pay them off and this gaurentees a couple of jobs right of the bat when I get to Portland.

My support network of friends in Portland is not yet what I have here, but I'm not even out there yet and people who have come into my life through mutual friends have already become mine and I have already found a few who have resources and skills that will help me and I have resources and skills that will benefit them.

The thing i really have to laugh about today is that I still manage to get stressed about things happening in my life when there is plenty of evidence that I really have no reason to stress at all. The fact that I ever get paniced at all is just to funny. One would think, being a reasonably intelligent guy I'd have figured out by now that it all will work out in the end.

Jaye

I am trying to laugh today about the impossibility of studying for the Bar Exam again. My husband is taking it with me and asked me a question last night about a problem he was having with one of the topics. I answered his question without really knowing that I knew the answer. I didn't have to mine for it, or dig for it, I just replied with the answer. He said, "Shit. You really do know that shit."

So I am laughing that I have a storehouse of me in here with the other crazy things in my attic of a mind.

You make me laugh, too, Joe.

Night Bird

Well, this story did not really have my sides splitting, but...

Yesterday, it was the first nice day in 8 days...the lawn was a foot high plus the dandilions had done their thing and took over too.

So...at 1:00 pm in the afternoon, I mounted the ride-on mower to start the process of cutting the lawn. Now we only have 3 acres of land but half way through it a neighbor drove up the driveway to investigate what I was doing.

He wanted to know what all the noise was about. I said I was cutting my lawn.

Did we lose our liberties of cutting lawns on Saturday afternoons??

I laughed as he drove away and went back to cutting it.

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