IT SAYS HERE that George W. Bush may be the most physically fit President ever. Great. He can become CEO of Gold’s Gym when he leaves office.
GIVE ME A PRESIDENT in a wheel chair, with a more common touch. Give me a president who cares not so much about the race of the blood in his veins, but on the pulse common to us all.
RECOMMENDED READING [CAPITOL HILL BLUE] White House insiders say Bush is growing increasingly bitter over mounting opposition to his war in Iraq. Polls show a vast majority of Americans now believe the war was a mistake and most doubt the President’s honesty. “Who gives a flying fuck what the polls say,” he screamed at a recent strategy meeting. “I’m the President and I’ll do whatever I goddamned please. They don’t know shit.” [HAT TIP: POLT/BLONDSENSE]
AS THE BUSH NUMBERS GO LOWER AND LOWER,Inevitably they will reach the level of Karl Rove. Bush now has approval numbers lower than any recent two term president, but the WASHINGTON POST notes that doesn’t matter so long as Bush runs strong with his base.
IRONY SUGGESTS that the golden boy Bush born with the silver spoon up his nose has run the most base permanent political campaign in history. How much more base will the Bush appeal become in these unbecoming days? How will Bush dig himself out? Or is he just a narcissist who digs only himself who doesn’t care so long as he can go on a BIKE RIDE? VOTE FOR YOUR NEW FAVORITE OPERATIVE PHRASE: When the going gets tough, the Bush goes biking. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen and go biking. Or how about The Heretik’s choice? The bike stops here.
THE HERETIK STEALS SOME OF HIS BEST IDEAS FROM: [AVEDON CAROL]
FROM THE SAME PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU The Air Conditioned, Well Conditioned President George W. Bush who doesn’t see fit to meet the roasting woman Cindy Sheehan on the roadside outside his door, we learn GENERAL KEVIN P. BYRNES
has been relieved of his command for only screwing a woman. Screwing
the entire world should not be noticed by anyone with eyes that can
see. Why does it always come down to a woman and a consensual affair
for righteousness to um rear its ugly head in this country and do what
righteous rearing heads do? This spew will not clean up off the fabric
WE LIVE IN AN AGE OF TORTURED LANGUAGE AND STRAINED REALITY, A
mish mash of mainstream masochism and private sadisms. When you
consider all the talk of sex and violence we are regularly doused with,
sex always gets the prissy sissies off. No, nope. Can’t have any sex.
We will show how good we are by showing how bad you are. The violent
inequity of other generals getting off for laying less than loving
hands on prisoners of something other than love is jarring.
THEY SAY SACKING A GENERAL who got off in the sack had to be
run by the President who must run or bike two hours a day. Some day we
will have a full run down on torture and the run up to the war and Bush
will not be able to get off by running away from reality.
WHERE DOES W GET OFF on telling us which generals will get off
and which ones won’t? If more of the Bush administration wimps for war
got off before the war, maybe everyone else in the world wouldn’t be so
totally screwed right now and we could all get on with better lives.
The day after passage of the odious Patriot Act in the Senate and House that offers only continuing loss of liberty in service to “security” and the dubious War on Terror, Bush cheerleaders HADLEY and TOWNSEND write an Op Eda Public Relations piece in the NEW YORK TIMES that adds new rust to the irony with which this administration utters simple words. We are in a great good war horrible situation we will win will have hard time getting out of in years, if not decades. Savage edit, italics, and crossouts mine. Lowlights from the STEVE and FRAN Cheersquad.
First and most important, we must have a clear understanding of the ideology espoused by the enemyBush Administration.The terrorists we faceThey today aim to remake the Middle Eastthe United States in their own grim image - one that, as President Bush has said, "hates freedom, rejects tolerance and despises all dissent."
The second important lesson flows directly from the first. An ideological contest can be a long and difficultprofitable one. Even our bankrupt ideas have attracted followers for a time. And in making our dubious case, we must overcomeAmerica'sthis administration's mixed record on supporting freedom in the Middle EastUnited States. For too long we acceptedsold a false bargain that promised stability if we looked the other way when democracy was denied. case, we must overcome
Expect to see more administration officials cheerleaders talking on and off the record talking out their buttsas things dramatically improve get worse.
BUSH WOULD HAVE US BELIEVE GOD TALKS TO HIM REGULARLY. When the President Talks to God, The Heretik is curious who does most of the talking. Somewhere in one such conversation we are told we should believe God told Bush FREEDOM IS A GIFT FROM THE ALMIGHTY. We must be the fingers of the hands of the almighty. While we have poked a few people’s eyes as part of the almighty hands doing SOME GOD'S WORK, something must have gotten LOST in translation. While weapons of mass destruction will never be found, unless you count DEPLETED URANIUMor the FIREBOMBING of FALLUJAH, we still have Iraq as the PLACE where we are going to vanquish all terrorists, all evil and turn the Middle East into an oasis of democracy.
The funny thing about the waters of an oasis or the liberties of a democracy is that all the goodness of them wells up from below. You cannot bring flowing water to an oasis nor can you force democracy on anyone. The Iraqis have a different idea about democracy. While Bush would like to see a more of a THEOCRATIC influence HERE in the government of the United States, in IRAQ which was once the most modern of Middle Eastern societies we see the return of SHARIAH with a vengeance far more strong than in the days of secular misrule by Saddam. Some god may speak to Bush here, but another one speaks to the Iraqi men in power now.
Soon it will be official. In another year women in Iraq will have far fewer rights than they did three years ago. So much for progress in the era of MONSTER POLICY. Condoleezza Rice spent a lot of time last month declaring how Iraq would be the center of democratic freedom around which the rest of the region would spin. For women that idea in reality is spinning out of sight.
MUST READ [NYTIMES]A working draft of Iraq's new constitution would cede a strong role to Islamic law and could sharply curb women's rights, particularly in personal matters like divorce and family inheritance. The document's writers are also debating whether to drop or phase out a measure enshrined in the interim constitution, co-written last year by the Americans, requiring that women make up at least a quarter of the parliament. The draft of a chapter of the new constitution obtained by The New York Times on Tuesday guarantees equal rights for women as long as those rights do not "violate Shariah," or Koranic law.
RECOMMENDED FURTHER READING [ECHIDNE OF THE SNAKES] Nobody really cares about women's rights in Iraq, certainly not within the U.S. government. Bush wouldn't have attacked the country if he had cared about the rights of women. Iraq used to have one of the most egalitarian legal systems for women, and look what we have wrought! Oh, I forgot, no more rape rooms. Though, they don't matter much as many women don't dare to go out in any case, fearing kidnapping and rape.
[PAM'S HOUSE BLEND] This is unbelievable. Billions of dollars, thousands of bombs, who
knows how many deaths, and this is what it come to for to the women of
Iraq. Have they not suffered enough?
[AMANDA MARCOTTE/PANDAGON] Sad, if unsurprising news. The new Iraqi constitution is all god all the time. And just like the "Christianity" espoused by our right wing nuts, the number one thing that god wants is women's necks under the boots of men.
[BITCH PH.D] “Compared to what some of the conservative Shiites were pushing, the glass is half full." Compared, however, to the rights that women had before the war, the glass is half empty. It's necessary to say--it shouldn't be, but it is--that obviously the repression under Saddam Hussein affected men as well as women, and like every other person on the planet, I'm glad he's gone; but inasmuch as our current argument is that we deposed him not because of WMD or any kind of imminent threat to us, but out of humanitarian concern for the Iraqi people, it's worth pointing out that the results of that decision seem to be making things worse, rather than better, for the women who are more than half the Iraqi population.
RETRACT THIS! Please. I Can Feel Some Splinters, Some of Them Feel Quite Large. Somebody help me out here. Maybe I can get Scott McClellan and the White House to help me dislodge this telephone pole they are trying to shove further up my ass. My problem is this Newsweek Qu’ran and the toilet story. The story now isn’t that a Qu’ran went into the toilet (it did and more than once). My problem is Newsweek went into the toilet. Or so the White House says. Some time overnight, the White House shoved a telephone pole up my --- ouch, that stings. Hold on.
This Newsweek story has me bleeding out the place that dare not speak its name. Actually that place sometimes does speak its name, I try to muffle it some, but sometimes it just rips.
Right now I feel like Clinton talking to a nation talking to itself. I can feel my pain. Damn, my butt hurts. Thank god I am not alone.
Everyone in this country is getting their own personal telephone pole shoved up the poop chute today! No installation fee. First two months free!
With this telephone pole up my ass, I get a lot of added features you may up paying for later. Damn Newsweek. Apparently the White House has nothing to do with countless instances of desecrating other religions’ symbols both abroad and at home. Newsweek did that stuff. And the White House is not trying to distract the people from some of Tom Ridge’s unfortunate admissions about jerking around the terror rainbow color chart up and down and all around. Newsweek is to blame for that too. Newsweek made up the rationale for the run up to the war so sadly noted in the Downing Report. Damn Newsweek. Damn Newsweek for invading Iraq and having no plan on getting out of there! Damn Newsweek for sinking down in the polls and sinking so low as to attack the White House with the truth. Damn them. Damn them for shoving this telephone pole up my butt.
Newsweek, pull this pole out of my wonder winker right now!
QUESTION: I seem to have become confused. Now is it Newsweek or the White House that has shoved this telephone pole up my butt with this Qu’ran and Toilet Bowl Dance of Deception? Who do you blame for this? Who do you blame for anything? Let the orgy of righteousness begin.