AND ON THE EIGHTH DAY, MAN AND WOMAN LAUGHED TOGETHER. In playful lies they had found truth, and in truth they slept easy with dreams of wonder in now closed eyes. If there is a god in heaven may he forever protect the likes of Roxanne Cooper from the demons down below. Not that she will need much help.
THE HERETIK IS MOST GRATEFUL for the lessons he has picked up from floating in the "non serious" sea of blogostan in the wake of Rox Populi. What kindness and generosity are found in seeming cruel laughter. Early on before the day of destruction, Rox P let The Heretik have at it in the Comments section before the pages opened to everyone else. THE HERETIK HAS A LOVE OF MASKS AND THE MADNESS OF THE STAGE. His father was a brilliant actor who became a bittersweet barrister. Rox Populi, I thank you for raising my father's more joyful spirit again in me. (And oh, for the final time, may it be stated The Heretik is a guy complete with dick and balls, though missing one or two brains cells in the head.)
THANK YOU ROX POPULI for allowing me to be someone else and in doing so find my truth. A most kind and generous soul shares not just the toys, but also the playground. So on the pages of Michelle Maklin I appeared as Marshall Mathers. Among others.
Super Market Security Mom:
You are totally off the hooKAH with your crime rhymes about the
chronic! I just wish I was younger and you had a kid cuz ya know I did.
I know I'd be coming round for some of them kookies, yeah, your kookies and sum bitches sandwiches.
You wuld be like my FAVORITE MILF MOMMA. Did I say I am a your number one fan, an I'm not talking as STAN?
I see a real opportunity for us both, for you to move out of the
produce aisle where people notice how you spend so much time handling
the cucumbers and for me to have another hit like Sixteen Candles with
Yeah, been a long time since I rock and rolled careerwise,
directorwise, made some moves unwise careerwise. I am doing some
research on this pitch right now. Hold on a second while I take another
pull of this bong. Thanks.
You help me write the screenplay. Lindsey Lohan. Hillary
Duff.(Catfight still on?) One of the less anorexic girls from the OC.
Throw in Jack Nicholson and some of this kill kill kindbud you seem to
know so much about. Title: Dope Witches of Westwood. What do you say?
Let's try and meet at the parking lot of the Seven Eleven Tenish.
Your ideas are most intriguing. Believe me. The President shares
your concerns, if not your rather limited experience with illegal drugs.
As far as your ideas go for a solution, you and I are reading out of the same book, a book that has not yet been burned.
After we intern all the irresponsble parents in Family Support
Camps, we will start rounding up the teenagers. Because we do believe
in family values, we may in fact finally Leave No Child Behind here.
G friend, whatever you do, don't mantion that I sold your dad a dime
bag back in the day! Your response: Dime bag? What dime bag? Back in
the day? What day? Remember we are Republicans. When the going gets
tough, tough Republicans still follow the easy script!
I would think you are hot, as it were, and would take um action in
your sphere if I could, but I have a family. So I will just take hold
of the problem here at my keyboard. Michele, I am not like all those
other keyboard wankers who work their arguments up into a, into a, into
a . . . . Uh, oh, I thought I had tissues here.
Conservative? I think I'm more than conservative enough for the both
of us, Michimama. You just take care of those righteous looks, babe.
I'll take care of the righteous argument. Hoping you will get to spend
some more time next Christmas at the North Pole. I snap to your salute.
"Would you do me a favor? Tell that nice little Heretik houseboy I
want to give him a big Texas hello, would you now, sweetie? ThankYew!"
I think Heretik is a WOMAN...
WELL THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE. TO BE A WOMAN IS NO SMALL FEAT IN THIS WORLD. TO BE A WOMAN LIKE ROX POPULI'S ROXANNE COOPER IS FAR GREATER THAN THAT. I think Heretik is a WOMAN... I get that all the time . .. . But it was not my intention to draw attention too much too myself. Thank you again to Roxanne Cooper for opening up her playground, for sharing all her toys with me and with the world. When the laughter drops away, may a gentle light forever rest on the face of my loving and laughing friend Roxanne. She is a doctor for an ailing heart. If she is indeed such a doctor, The Patient of this Country need her now more than ever.
We, The Patient, are not dead yet, but should we die now, may we all die laughing.
A FINAL WORD FROM ROXANNE COOPER on Michelle Maklin:
Of course, this is a parody site! And I couldn't have done it
without the help of the following contributors, artists, brainstormers,
MAN, MY HEAD IS SPINNING! I JUST GOT AN OFFER TO WORK AS AN INTERN AT MICHELLE MAKLIN'S SUMMER CAMP! TOTALLY KEWL! Hang out with my own people only, protected behind a fence from The Others no worries about what to think about, All Right All The Time Of course there is no money in it, but my heart and soul an um something else have been yearning to work under Michelle Maklin since like forever. Oy.
SOME PEOPLE JUST THINK MICHELL MAKLIN IS A CRAZY RAMBLING RIGHTY!: As of today, APRIL 1, 2005, I know she is! And I wanna know it again. And again. And again. Girl got the mad skilz.
Click here to find out more about why me and Michelle click madly together
SCREW KEVIN DRUM AND HIS RIGHTEOUS LEFTEOUS SOCIAL SERVICES: The Heretik Just Got a Chance to Make Some Real Cash on Tour. And those hottie litle hellions Jenna and Barbara Bush are down on him, um down with it! Oy.
TO ANYBODY WHO THOUGHT THE HERETIK HAD A CONSCIENCE: As of today, APRIL 1, 2005, there is no doubt. No power on earth can keep The Heretik from his Escape with The Skank Twins Jenna and Barbara Bush