CASABLANCA MEANS WHITE HOUSE How Did I Get Stuck Here? How did we all end up here? I am sitting again in the front row of The Stupid Movie House. I am watching the stuff on screen again, not believing one character in particular. I should walk out. This is pathetic. This is some farce of a melodrama. I have seen this bad actor before, this Robert Novak. Robert Novak? How bad is he? He makes Tom Cruise look like a sublime and subtle king. Yeah, I should walk out of this story about some lady named Valerie Plame and her husband named Joe Wilson. Some greasy kid named Karl Rove slid across the screen and vanished. The Claude Rains Inspector character just took Judy Miller away in hand cuffs. Judy Martyr Miller was playing kraps and krapped out here at Ricks and . . . And that’s the way it goes, sometimes. Judy Martyr Miller is a terrrible actress, but not as bad as the ultimate bad actor Bob Novak.
Last time I saw Novak was in The Capitol Hill Chain Gang. What a putz. Or maybe that was just the character he was playing. Now I am sitting here watching this Casablanca 2005. I can’t stand it. Who wrote this screenplay? Novak just told somebody he can’t comment on what happened to Wilson and Plame because there is a criminal investigation going on. That takes some serious stones. I can’t stand it. I should walk out of The Stupid Movie House right now. But I can’t pull myself out of the chair. And nobody else can either. We all paid good money for this. Oy.
PREVIOUS HERETIK POSTS: [GEORGETOWN] [[ONE SINGS, THE OTHER DOESN'T]]
Perhaps it would be useful to return to the original casting of Casablanca. The role of Rick was supposed to have been played by Ronald Reagan.
Posted by: Diane | July 09, 2005 at 01:15 PM
It's sacreligious to put that slimey scumbag in the same picture as "Rick"
Posted by: jillian | July 09, 2005 at 02:19 PM
Novak is big on preparation; some might even go so far as to call him a method actor. In order to prepare for his starring role in this sordid film, he spent several weeks trolling the gutters of America's cities, looking for that perfect piece of slime upon which he could model his character.
Posted by: Matt | July 09, 2005 at 04:44 PM
I've seen big bad Bob a number of times on C-SPAN. He's quick to get down in the gutter with some of those confrontational Neanderthals that like to call in and have trouble cognating or putting a coherent sentence together.
It's obvious that underneath his thin veneer of pseudo civility lurks a very angry unhappy person just dying to spread his bitterness and dysfunctional vitriol around. In this he resembles many on the right.
It's no coincidence that he's going to get a pass on outing a CIA agent, since he's the golden (though rapidly decaying) boy of the right wing media.
He and Ann Coulter should get together and produce a whole crop of neo-Nazi Machiavellian offspring to populate the Republican Party of the next generation.
Posted by: Aaron | July 09, 2005 at 05:22 PM
I highly recommend James Wolcott's book _Attack Poodles_ for eviscerating takes on many in the Right Wing pundocracy, including our friend Novak.
Posted by: Matt | July 09, 2005 at 05:44 PM
Buenos Noches Compadres!
Matt, how strange that you should mention James Wolcott...did you read what he had to say today.
Posted by: Night Bird | July 09, 2005 at 10:31 PM
ah, Wolcott...I love the little asides like "One patriot, poring over the parchment maps in the Captain's Quarters..."
Posted by: Matt | July 09, 2005 at 10:41 PM
So what is your take on Stone making a movie on 9/11??
Posted by: Night Bird | July 09, 2005 at 10:52 PM
Well, I don't think quite as highly of him as Wolcott does, but if Michael Medved doesn't like something, I know I will!
What are your thoughts?
Posted by: Matt | July 09, 2005 at 11:11 PM
I think that the true facts about 9/11 have not come out yet, so how can a movie be made?
There are too many questions still left unanswered...and I believe that the 4 women from NJ that worked to get the 9/11 Hearings deserve more respect . By that I mean - many of their questions were left unanswered. They had very valid questions.
I dont buy the buckling theory either.
Posted by: Night Bird | July 09, 2005 at 11:21 PM
Matt, in other words, dear Sir, I am a TFH!
Posted by: Night Bird | July 09, 2005 at 11:24 PM
and we have gone completely off topic.
Posted by: Night Bird | July 09, 2005 at 11:38 PM
The Heretik has totally defiled Rick Blaine by putting Novak in the same pic as the noble late warrior who gives up Ilsa for love and goes on to fight the good fight. What was that Heretik thinking putting Novak in the place of Ugarte? Novak makes Ugarte look like Mother Theresa.
Posted by: The Heretik | July 09, 2005 at 11:44 PM
My ghod man, does that mean Rove is The Fat Man? And Cheney is Major Strasser?
Posted by: handdrummer | July 10, 2005 at 03:00 AM
My ghod man, does that mean Rove is The Fat Man?
Posted by: handdrummer | July 10, 2005 at 03:03 AM